TOP 5 MOST DISAPPOINTING FILMS of 2018

Greetings, Film Fanatics!

Once again, that time of the year has come when all the Christmas claustrophobia has been put back in boxes for another season passed, and cinema geeks around the world burn through respective 2018 watch lists in order to find out which titles will be crowned the best of that year.

As for me, I like to start this annual project with the five films I had reasonably high hopes for that fell various degrees of short. These are not what I found to be the worst films of 2018, because those lists in my opinion are all too simple; whereas a list like this carries a certain negatively emotional weight.

Now, with that out of the way, let's dig in:

5. "SUPER TROOPERS 2"

Did I say "reasonably high hopes"? Oops. Honest mistake, right?

There was really no reason at all to believe that "Super Troopers 2" was going to come remotely close to the guilty pleasure greatness that is the now seventeen-year-old original. That being the case, my standards for this sequel were actually rather low, and it still didn't clear the bar. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed nearly all the Broken Lizard productions up until this point, but the characters, and the shtick they carry with them, are not deep enough to carry multiple stories. These guys have proven that they have a comedic prowess to be reckoned with, so to see rehashes of the same jokes from the first film be the only ones that stick in this sequel is really all the proof needed to show that this wasn't going to work. I can certainly understand the temptation with "Super Troopers" putting Broken Lizard on the map and all, but it might be in their best interest to keep moving forward with new material.

4. "YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE"

Oh yeah, this is going to be a fun one.

Yes, you read this correctly. Sacrifice me to the Dark Lord Cthulhu, because not only did I dislike this movie, it nearly pissed me off to "Killing of a Sacred Deer" levels. Sorry, not sorry - fuck this movie.

Look, there's a reason why this is on the "Disappointments" list. I absolutely agree that it has an attention-grabbing story with some gritty cinematography. I respect Joaquin's performance in it, even if it's a far cry from his best work. Unfortunately, outside of those few check boxes, I'm left with the same questions and grievances that "Sacred Deer" left me to choke on: What is the fascination with these mechanical characters and using some of the most god awful hipster scores in modern cinema?

"Alright, hear me out on this one. Joaquin Phoenix is driving alone down this sunny, isolated highway, right? What if, to give accent to this scene, we create an ambiance of what a breaking down dishwasher would sound like if it were getting fucked by a ride on lawn mower? No, trust me! They did the same thing for an hospital escalator scene in 'Sacred Deer'. It's going to be genius!"

I guess it worked. I clearly still remember it.

I tried, I really did. I tried to block out all the noise and get invested in borderline sociopath-esque character drama, but I failed. I don't know why A24 Productions is jerking off so hard to this stuff, and maybe I never will. I've seen this on a lot of Top 10 lists this year already, so at least it has its fans.

3. "THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS"

On the surface, this would look like a film that should fall in the same spectrum as "Super Troopers 2" as far as expectations go; however, the truth is that I held the two pretty far apart. "Happytime Murders" is a comedy that should have fucking worked, and I'm kind of upset that it did not. See, there's two forms of "Brainless comedy" - one is the good kind, such as "Super Troopers", that has really no good right to exist but it touches all the finer points of escapism; the other kind, contrarily, is the mindset that it requires no brain power to make effective comedy. Guess which one "Happytime" belongs in.

Puppets cursing like sailors is not in itself a joke, or at least a joke that can carry an entire film. There were a handful of moments in here that showed potential, but merely only showing it is not going to get the job done.

I ranted enough about this back in my original review. I don't need to do it again here.

Dammit, this should have been good.

2. "RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET"

Yeah, I'm really bummed to have this on the list at all, no less towards the top (or bottom). A lot of what I loved about "Wreck-It Ralph" was sadly not to be found in this sequel. I guess in some way that makes sense seeing as there was really nothing to build off of, so to create a second story, it's going to have to take some new directions - it's just that most of those directions weren't very good. To be painfully honest, the only areas of the film I outright enjoyed were the first half of the Second Act when Vanellope plays in Slaughter Race, and most of the Third Act when the conflicts of Ralph and Vanellope come to a head.

I spoke of this once already in the past, so I won't repeat it all, but the whole "Viral Video" aspect really turned me off, and no matter how many times I watch this in the future (I want to give it at least one or two more), I cannot picture that ever turning my perspective favorably. It felt much more like pandering to a young audience rather than something that would have made sense for Ralph as a character.

Well, at least "Mary Poppins Returns" was good. Would have sucked for Disney to end the year on a low note.

1. "THE NUN"

...

...

Yep.

It's boring. Oodles of wasted potential. Still a bit baffled by all of that seeing as this came from the same filmmaking team as "The Hallow" a few years ago. I don't particular want to talk about this any more than I have already.

So...

When does "Conjuring 3" come out again?



This has been my TOP 5 MOST DISAPPOINTING FILMS of 2018.

Thank you so much for reading! Looking forward to a great 2019!