Top 10 First Time Watches of 2024

Greetings, Movie Fans!

Another year has come and gone, and I swear I just did this a few months ago. I suppose it's true, we are all on the speeding autobahn towards death.

This first Top 10 list of 2024 is for the films that I saw for the first time in 2024, and were released prior to that year.

Did I copy and paste that line from last year? Bet your ass, I did! My surroundings are devolving into a mumblefuck apocalypse where no matter how many times you redress something, you’ll just get a monosyllabic grunt response, followed most likely by the word “Woke”. So, yes, copy and paste. And could “Planet of the Apes” please happen in real life already, this clusterfuck has gone on long enough.

10. “IT STAINS THE SANDS RED” (2016)

I don’t enjoy adding voice to the echochamber that is the growingly popular “zombie fatigue”, but sometimes you have to call a Spade a Spade. It takes a special kind of plot and execution to catch my attention in the genre these days, and when “It Stains the Sands Red” was recommended to me in a “Try It, You’ll Like It” sort of way, I figured, why not? I trust the source. As per usual, they were correct, and “Sands” was a shockingly good and cleverly good time. Sometimes all it takes is looking at the mundane from a new perspective. All of a sudden you have a badass female protagonist that would normally be used as zombie bait, and a comedic approach to using a rogue zombie as a means of protection and a cure for loneliness - at arm’s length, of course - or it’d be a really short movie. I will say I didn’t love the ending as it felt like the writing ran out of fuel and became the sort of cliche behind the aforementioned fatigue, but in this case, I’m inclined to forgive it with the sharp direction and killer performance by Brittany Allen.

9. “PARANOIAC!” (1963)

I found myself venturing through a handful of the classic Hammer horror films of the 1960s this past year, and while all of them were various levels of enjoyable, it was “Paranoiac!” that found itself at the top of the heap for me if for no other reason than it had the best ending - and quite possibly one of my favorite endings to any horror film I saw all year. The casting was perfect, and included some familiar faces in the carousel of horror film during that decade, Freddie Francis directed with equal parts fun and tension, and the black & white cinematography by Arthur Grant brought the whole vibe home. The rest of I’ll leave up to viewing, because No Spoilers - silly bastards.

8. “THE INNOCENTS” (2016)

A film based in a Polish convent months after the conclusion of World War II where a bunch of nuns were raped and impregnanted by soldiers, which while involuntary, goes against their very vows? Okay, yeah, you had me at World War II. And nuns. The only time I’d turn a theme like that away is if Zac Snyder’s or Michael Bay’s name were attached to it. 

In all seriousness, though, if “It Stains the Sands Red” was the drink of 2016, then “The Innocents” was the detox. Mostly grey and grim from beginning to end, yet also manages to strike an intriguing balance between the best of humanity fighting for their beliefs and the absolute worst of humanity fighting for their beliefs. Once again, the cast is perfectly strong from top to bottom, but to not give the three leads (Lou de Laage, Agata Buzek, and Agata Kuleszka) their proper dues would be a disservice with their ability to mix their personalities into some truly powerful chemistry. Regardless of one’s own stance on religion and the politics therein, “The Innocents” is a film that really does deserve to be seen with the emotional impact it’s bound to leave.

7. “IN THIS CORNER OF THE WORLD” (2016)

Damn, 2016, I forgot just how solid of a year you were, and apparently, melancholy. Credit where credit is due, it took some guts by Writer and Director Sunao Katabuchi to take the manga series from the 2000s and go “You know what? ‘Grave of the Fireflies’ wasn’t sad enough to traumatize generations. Let’s make another one similar to it!” Okay, that probably isn’t even close to the thought process, but the point being, while I wouldn’t say it succeeded in quite reaching the level of gut-punchery in “Fireflies”, it comes pretty damn close in my opinion, so thank you for that, I guess? Beautifully drawn and realized, the film lulls you into a false sense of comfort, and then, before you know it, your insides are on the floor. I loved it.

6. “THE NAME OF THE ROSE” (1986)

As the saying goes - well, as my saying goes - any film with Sean Connery in it is worth seeing once, so when I came across “The Name of the Rose” available on stream, I had to leap at the opportunity. I vaguely knew of its existence, and in equal vagueness, knew of the 1980 novel from which it was based. Said novel, by Umberto Eco, carries the reputation of being so dense and complex that film will never be able to do it justice. I haven’t read it yet, so that determination for me will come later on, but thankfully, Director Jean-Jaques Annaud and his host of screenwriters were wise enough to take the parts of the novel that would translate well to film, and made a highly engrossing murder mystery in a 14th Century abbey. I’ll repeat that last part as that should be all the sell one should ever need - “a highly engrossing murder mystery in a 14th Century abbey.” Did I mention Sean Connery? And a young Christian Slater with a hilarious haircut rivaled only by Lloyd Christmas?

It’s still available on Prime. You’re welcome.

5. “MARY & MAX” (2009)

You know what I love? Animation, and in a lot of cases, stop-motion and claymation. You know what else I love? Dark, morose stories with unexpectedly clever humor. Put them together and you get the enveloping, depressing animated sandwich that is “Mary & Max”. Thank you, Adam Elliot, it was delicious. 

Oh, and if that didn’t fully grasp the mood, the titular character of Max being voiced by the late and great Phillip Seymour Hoffman is the grey icing on the cake. But I digress. It’s one thing to make a beautiful-looking film, but one with so much emotional depth it will take you through a bulk of emotional highs and lows in a lean 90 minute runtime is legitimately a work of art. It took me way too goddamn long to see it, so if you haven’t yet, don’t keep waiting.

4. “NEW RELIGION” (2023)

Whilst being one of my favorite horror movies that I watched last year, “New Religion” is also one of the most difficult ones to explain without giving away everything that I loved about it. In fact, it well-defines the term “hidden gem” as I stumbled upon it on Amazon Prime completely by accident. I hadn’t seen it promoted on social media, and it doesn’t even appear to have an American Wikipedia page. Still, the brief synopsis hooked me, and I wasn’t the slightest disappointed despite the fact that the synopsis isn’t really accurate. All I can really say is that it’s about a woman trying to connect with the dead. One dead individual, to be precise. It’s like this whole project is draped in mystery both inside and out. I couldn’t help but feel a bit haunted afterwards in the best sort of way. The slow burn is worth unraveling, and if that’s up your alley, don’t sleep on this one. I fear if it drops from streaming, it may not be found elsewhere. Spooky.

3. “THE ZONE OF INTEREST” (2023)

Hello again, World War II! Didn’t think I’d stay away very long, did you? Is it not obvious that I appear drawn to finding ways to have my guts ripped out through my chest? Oh, and the whole thing about my being a big believer that history repeats itself if not learned from and looking out the window lately is getting too creepy for comfort . . . ?

Anyway, Director Jonathan Grazer has crafted another Holocaust masterpiece in “The Zone of the Interest”, which is the most quietly - and I do emphasize “QUIETLY” - disturbing Nazi Germany story in recent memory. And it’s the quiet part that really makes the stomach-turning even more effective as you never see any of the violence. The story takes place at the home of a Nazi commander, where so happens to be right next door to Auschwitz, and the narrative is based on them. The kicker is that you can only HEAR muffled violence way off in the distance, and to say it’s unsettling would be the understatement of the year. I will not ever forget it. 

2. “MAD GOD” (2021)

You know that meme going around on Facebook that shows the end credits of “Jurassic Park” and that a gentleman by the name of Phil Tippett was the dinosaur supervisor so, of course, the running joke is that he did a really shitty job of supervising them?

No? Okay, fine, here it is:

The reason I bring it up is because I’ve come to the conclusion after watching “Mad God” that Tippett didn’t do a poor job of supervising the dinosaurs at Jurassic Park, it’s that they were bloody terrified of him! No, really, are you okay, Phil? Because “Mad God” is a stop-motion animated hellscape that most death metal artists can only aspire to in their wildest dreams. Spoiler Alert, and I feel guilty for saying this, but there was a stop-motion animated film that came out in 2024, literally called “Stopmotion”, that I thought was pretty good and cool to watch. I hadn’t really seen anything like it before. In actuality, I enjoyed it enough that I was considering it for my Honorable Mentions list this year. As fate would have it, though, I came across “Mad God” later on and, wow, you tried your best “Stopmotion”, but Tippett kicked your ass to the curb like a sack of moldy potatoes. 

I suppose that’s unfair in some respects because Tippett had the comfort of working on “Mad God” in-between projects for roughly 30 years. I imagine the filmmakers behind “Stopmotion” didn’t have that same luxury. Still, “Mad God”, in all its insanity, will wear the animation crown in my mind for a long time. I’ve never seen this much crafted violence and bodily fluids displayed in such a way before, and if you think that’s the note I’m going to end this on, you’re absolutely fucking correct.

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Much like last year with “The Handmaiden”, 2024 had a film that I saw for the first time that towered above the rest, and I knew instantly it was going to be #1 on this list. It deserved all the accolades received during the year of its release, and I argue it should submit itself again to the Academy and win some more on principle.

Drumroll, please!

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1. “CODA” (2021)

I don’t believe there’s any such thing as a perfect film or a perfect anything that is created by humankind. Perfection is subjective anyway, but given all of our flaws, the most common definition of perfection isn’t attainable. HOWEVER, there is absolutely such a thing as near-perfection, and I do have those feelings towards a particularly small handful of films that rarely gets added to. Well, last year - or 2021, technically - saw the end of that streak and a new film added to the near-perfect pile. “CODA”, written and directed by Sian Heder, is magnificent. Magnificent in its simplicity, craftsmanship, emotion, and the list goes one. How Emilia Jones didn’t get nominated for an Oscar with her commitment to this character and story is complete bullshit, and that could honestly go as well to the whole supporting cast who brought a story about the challenges of the hearing impaired to such resonating heights. Is it a bit sweet-toothy? Yeah, but how dare we enjoy such a thing, eh? Sometimes it’s nice to go to bed with a smile instead of dread. 

The only thing I hate about this film is that it is owned by Apple, and the likelihood of them releasing it on physical media is so abysmally low that it makes me want to strangle them more than I already would like to do on a daily basis.