Greetings, Movie Fans!
I've gone through the mindset of this list before, so I won't spend a ton of time on it, but I've never been one to make a Top 5 or Top 10 Worst Films of the Year list. It's not that I have anything against them, in fact I'm sure it's fun to rag on movies that just didn't sit right with me. I think it's more because, as I've gotten older, if I come across a film I can't seem to digest, I don't really have much to say outside maybe the first 5 minutes after it ends.
"Huh. Well, that's 2 hours I'm not getting back. Moving on..."
Besides, I find movies that are "disappointing" more enveloping because I had high hopes for them, but for one reason or another, they went way off track or fell short enough of the mark that it left me a bit sad on the inside. Disappointing films live in my head rent-free for much longer than I want them to. There typically aren't too many of those during a calendar year, so I opt to do 5 instead of 10
I said I wasn't going to take too long introducing the list, and here I am rambling again.
Ahem.
Without further delay, here are my Top 5 Most Disappointing Films of 2023:
One guaranteed ticket on the Disappointment Train is to have a promising promise, and have the execution of that premise cut short for reasons I still don't understand. "Run Rabbit Run" should have had satisfying atmosphere TO SPARE. Who doesn't love a story about a creepy kid and a mom hanging on by a thread at the end of her rope? Of course those types of plots are somewhat common, but it shouldn't matter if the aforementioned execution is on point. I'm not sure if Director Daina Reid had more in mind and the film was cut short for time, or if the vision was really that lackluster, but for some reason, the film could not be bothered to allow the audience to bask in the glow of anything. I lost count how many times I was really starting to dig a particular set piece with my little cup of horror hope starting to fill up, only for the scenes to abruptly end. What's worse is all that jumping around felt to me as if it was trying to rush to the Big Reveal just so it could show how clever the film thought it was. The trouble is that nothing is earned when that happens, and by the time the climax came to fruition, I couldn't be paid to give a rat's ass.
I am glad to say the rent on "Run Rabbit Run" is starting to expire in my head as even the better scenes of the movie are starting fade from memory. Oh, Sweet Mercy.
4. "The Son"
In seriousness, I knew going in that "The Son" was getting panned left and right by the time it hit Netflix, with most complaints being that it was a poor attempt to adapt a theatre play. I suppose I should have found that odd, because it was Zeller's original play. Oh well. Jackman and Hopkins, what could go wrong? Turns out that plenty can. First off, Hopkins is only in the movie for 5 minutes. As if that weren't deflating enough, those five minutes where he is having a spiteful conversation with Jackman were by far the best minutes of the movie, and I could argue one of the only good parts. 5 minutes out of 2 hours - ouchies.
I'm not sure how to put my finger on it, but it's sad for me to say that I think this was not the right material for Hugh Jackman to play in. We're supposed to feel empathy for him because his son has issues up the wall and down again, and his dad (Hopkins) is a giant prick. Those things combined should be enough, but the behavior of Jackman's character, and his portrayal of said behaviors made it next to impossible for me to feel empathy. Not to mention the whole screenplay was uneven as Hell. I could never find a comfortable place in it to enjoy.
No worries, Mr. Zeller. "The Father" still exists, and for that, I forgive you.
3. "Insidious: The Red Door"
I'm about as unapologetic a fan of the "Insidious" series that one will meet, at least in my social circle. Whereas "The Conjuring" series had two solid entries then proceeded to entirely fuck all the way off with miserable prequel after miserable prequel (and boring second sequel), "Insidious" previous to 2023 was four entries in, each one strong on its own merits, in my humble opinion. Oddly enough, I felt for the longest time that the first one was still the weakest of the bunch after losing its edge halfway through, and even then, it's a pretty solid horror flick. Outside of James Wan's direction, the cast has really been quite exceptional all the way through, including but not limited to, Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye, Leigh Whannell, and Angus Sampson, all of whom came together with some rather impressive chemistry to aid the scares.
The reason I mention them is because where I think "The Red Door" suffered the most was a big lack in that cast. Byrne, Shye, Whannell, and Sampson are barely in it. Wilson and Ty Simpkins carry a majority of this film, and to be clear, they don't do a bad job at all (Wilson also made his directorial debut here), but I could never shake the feeling of who and what all was missing after having been through four previous films with them all in what's supposed to be the "final installment". "The Red Door", by design, also felt like extremely familiar territory as it revisits many events from the first film, and unfortunately, most of the events were from the second half of the first film. Needless to say, the tension and atmosphere were loyally the same to a fault.
Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike "The Red Door". In fact, I own it, so that I can do an "Insidious" marathon one of these days. I'm not sure what it is about horror "final chapters", but they never really do live up to the rest of the series. Maybe the filmmakers try too hard, or not hard enough?
2. "Wish"
"Wish" found itself squarely on this list due to perhaps a fault of my own. I bought into the damn hype, and I suppose I should know better, especially since Disney's output since Covid has been more miss than hit, or in their realm, average. I don't think there's a word that can describe a disappointing Disney property quite like the word "average", and sadly, average is exactly what "Wish" turned out to be.
I admit, I was sucked into the return to a classic premise of the magical kingdom with a magical ruler whom turns out to be a magical douchecanoe with a half-decent singing voice, because wouldn't that be so fitting for Disney Studio's 100th birthday? Disney even had the balls to show a bunch of classic Disney characters during the end credits, and I had to stop to ask myself why they were so proud of this movie? They did at least try some every-so-slightly different animation techniques to make it look more hand-drawn like the old days, but outside of that, a bulk of the characters and songs were mostly forgettable. I know it's hard to go up against the likes of "Encanto" and "Moana", but everything about "Wish" felt thrown together. It's a shame, but hey, "Moana 2" and "Inside Out 2" this year should give me some hope? Maybe? Please?
Finally, my pick for Most Disappointing Film of the Year goes to...
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1. "Hell House LLC Origins: The Carmichael Manor"
I still consider the first "Hell House LLC" to be not only one of the best horror surprises I came across in all of the 2010s, but it is still hands down for my money the best found footage horror film, period. It somehow took a tired gimmick and made it fresh again in a documentary approach that worked. Yes, some of it - okay a lot of it - was tongue-in-cheek, but it managed to capture a truly eerie vibe for what was supposed to be a roadside haunted house attraction. The two sequels are amusing if nothing else, though they do take a hard right turn into goofy cheese with none of the eerie vibe.
"The Carmichael Manor" serves as a prequel to the first, if the way-too-fucking-long title wasn't obvious enough, and it came to me as a surprise. I only found out about it a short month before its release on Shudder during Halloween. I usually don't mind a prequel if it can make itself intriguing enough to justify its existence, and for some reason, I had a really powerful magnetism towards wanting to know more behind the evil revealed in the first "Hell House". As seems to be a case with a bulk of prequels nowadays, that turned out to be a mistake in judgment on my part. Granted, my OCD was going to make me watch anyway, but "Origins" was oozing with missed opportunities.
For starters, Carmichael Manor was a pretty impressive set piece, and practically none of it was used outside of two or three rooms. Next, and I don't mean to be rude as it may not have been her fault, but Bridget Rose Perrota as the lead character, Margot, was damn near insufferable. Picture the frantic energy of a gerbil after it digests the contents of 5 or 500 Pixie Sticks, give it an adult human voice, and you might come close to capturing the essence of Margot. Lastly, brief spoiler warning though it shouldn't be because they're on the fucking poster art, the scares were based entirely around the clowns from the haunted house. Hey, if one isn't a fan of clowns, I'm sure that's perfectly serviceable for horror entertainment, but since I'm speaking for myself only and I'm not bothered by clowns, I couldn't help but be let down by this. To be sure, they were really cool and creepy in the first "Hell House", but they were also spare in that movie. In "Origins", they're around all the damn time, and if I'm being frank, they weren't utilized worth a shit.
A bouncing red ball rolling down a dark hallway and you're telling me there's a clown on the other side...get the entire fuck out, my friend, you must be joking.
Honestly, the film hints at a much more interesting premise about the origins of the cult leader that supposedly has everything to do with the unrest at "Hell House", but "Origins" thought clowns would be better. It seems the film was a hit, so maybe we'll get another origins film, and unlike "The Conjuring", maybe we'll get a good one. I'm not willing to bet my clown cash on it, though.
Thank you for checking out my latest list!
Next Up: 2023 Honorable Mentions
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