NEW REVIEW: "Halloween" (2018)

MRMOVIESETC REVIEWS:

“Halloween” (2018)

"Ugh, I got peanut butter on my penis."

Alright, so let me see if I can get this straight:

2018’s “Halloween” is not a reboot, but in fact the new “Halloween II” that so happens to share the same name as the original film, and completely eliminates the timeline of every film in the series from “Halloween III: Season of the Witch” and beyond; well, maybe “Halloween IV” and beyond since “Witch” exists in the same (sort of) reality.

Ok, good so far.

In fact, that’s probably not the worst decision that could have been made creatively for the series as a whole with previous installments taking the eventual path into the wood chipper with “Resurrection”, and/or seemingly almost everybody hated Zombie’s “Halloween II”, so that head was cut off as well.

Here’s where my question comes in. “Halloween II 3.0” takes place forty years after the terrorism of Michael Myers on the sleepy town of Haddonfield one Halloween night. When all was said and done, Laurie Strode survived and Myers is apprehended to the loony bin – but when was he apprehended?  Michael Myers infamously escapes at the end of the original film, and at the end of “Halloween II” – the first one – Michael supposedly burns to his death.  Even if that latter detail wasn’t true, it would make more sense in terms of his capture that somehow didn’t happen but did anyway. Hell, would the unmasked Myers in this new film been that much creepier if he had some burns on his body? Perhaps, burns that were serious enough to have easily doomed any normal man, but not that pesky demon Myers? All I’m saying is that there feels like an opportunity was missed here by cutting off a little too much fat.

But I digress. “X-Men” isn’t keeping score anymore in the space-time continuum, so why should “Halloween”?

To fill in any remaining plot points, Laurie Strode returns after getting a second chance at life, and is now a paranoid, reclusive mother of estranged daughter, Karen Nelson (Judy Greer), and grandmother of Allyson Nelson (Andi Matichak). Mainly, Laurie’s only serving purpose in this film is to show that she’s completely badass with a gun in her hand, and warn everybody Michael will return someday, so, better be ready for that shit when it hits the fan. One day when a pair of murder podcasters, Expendable Tweddle Dee and Expendable Tweedle Dumb, visit Myers at the asylum after somehow getting a hold of his mask, the Shape snaps out of his stupor, escapes during a transit to another prison, and returns to Haddonfield to carve up some more babysitters and, big twist, teenagers not having sex.

Gosh, and here I thought Myers was some kind of abstinence crusader. What a disappointment.

In the end, what turns out creating the most exciting pop in this new installment is what everybody came to see anyway – “Myers v. Strode: The Rematch”. During her years of seclusion, not only has Laurie taught herself to be a sharpshooter, but she has additionally retrofit her home as a sort of fortress in order to establish a survival edge against the next inevitable Myers attack. At first it comes off kind of plain, although, as the climactic battle gets heated, there are some flashes of true creativity that are nothing less than satisfying. Honestly, some of the final scenes in this new “Halloween” are the best the series has looked in decades, which is an impressive feat being now the eleventh film in the brand.

Still, it has been a solid decade in-between films, and to see this one arrive as something remarkably average is a bit of a letdown. Sure, one could argue that the movie had some decent kills and that these hit a lot of the same nostalgic beats reminiscent of the original, and I could say that’s true to a degree; however, you can strike similar cords without practically repeating them like a Greatest Hits montage. I will say there was one such instance that could possibly be construed as a taunt from Myers in a “Hey, remember this?” type of fashion, though the film didn’t play it off like that so I could be completely wrong. Either way, the whole Myers murder spree comes off as completely soulless as if Director David Gordon Green cared more about Michael’s obligatory kill count of inconsequential characters to show the old man still has carving skills instead of creating any meaningful suspense to go with it. Suspense may not have ever been the strength of “Halloween” to begin with, but at least Carpenter and a few of the directors after him knew that it was important to create that critical sense of dread.

Again, most of this is shockingly cured by what becomes a pretty great Third Act. When Jamie Lee Curtis takes over full control of the spotlight in this final phase of the film, she proves once again why she always has been the true lifeblood of the series. I have no idea how much she was paid to get back on board, but she sold the part like she hasn’t lost a single step, and thankfully her character arc makes much more sense this time around instead of falling anticlimactically off a damn building.

Andi Matichak as Allyson was pretty good, too. I wish she had gotten some more development as the next Strode to carry the Michael-slaying torch in future sequels, but I suppose for the sake of hooking a hungry fan base after a long wait, keeping the next generation in the background, initially, makes a certain amount of sense.

Basically, that’s all I really have or need to say about “Halloween”. There’s some notable highlights to sustain just enough momentum moving forward for future installments, and Green does bring some eye-catching cinematography and slick pacing to an otherwise disposable first sixty or seventy minutes void of any fresh ideas. Maybe “Halloween III” had the right idea and it’s time for future filmmakers to do some exploring to get out of this creative corner.

I’m not sure really sure I can recommend this, though with such a big audience, “Halloween” is likely always going to have a home regardless. I won’t say I outright disliked it. I was only hoping for more.

“Halloween”: 6/10